Paul Merson
Paul Merson is an English former professional footballer, manager, commentator and sports television pundit for Sky Sports. He was capped 21 times for the England national football...
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How would you describe Paul Merson the player in 3 words?
Had unbelievable vision.
What was it like playing for England?
Yeah, absolutely amazing. I think when you are lining up and the national anthems playing and you are in the 11 and you are one of the best players in your position that day in the whole of the country, in a Brooklyn football nation country where it's our main sport is amazing. And I say that today, I'm not going to lie at the time you don't think that, but when I look back now, yeah. And yeah, amazing just to play for your country. Yeah. It is just the ultimate of any sport, any sport.
Why did you gamble?
I loved it, loved it, made me, took me out the way I felt. A very nervous kid when I was younger. It just took me away from feelings. But the thing was with it was I didn't think I had an illness. Just thought I loved it and I was a bad person who was trying to get good. And it was just a cycle. It was a drink. I gamble. I don't come home. I take drugs. I beat myself up. I get low self-esteem. I get depression. I want to kill myself. I don't want to feel like this. I hate myself for feeling like this. How am I going to get myself out of not feeling like this? I know what I do. I have a drink, I take drugs, I'll gamble. And it was just a circle, a complete and utter circle. And not knowing that I was ill is not a nice feeling. And to live that life of having to do that, to get out the way you feel to make you the way you're feeling in the first place is not a way of living.